Ducks, Sarcasm, and Asher

OK....so I must start out this blog with what can only be described as a comical joke. So here goes....are you ready....

Why are ducks so Stupid...?

To get answer you must read to end of blog! And I mean read not skim, or glance, READ! It's not like it will kill you! Maybe you will be enlightened....or not....

So, as it turns out, a lot of people run/walk at wee hours of the morning. I have been working the early shift, and when I say early I mean 6:00 AM PEOPLE!, at work and on my approx. One mile drive that takes five minutes, I have noticed a cornucopia, if you will, of people doing what appears to be something healthy. Now, I am not dissing the health nuts, well not all of them, of this great country, but good lord! 6:00 AM is sleepin' hours, not wakin' hours! Are these people on CRACK! And to top it all off, as I am "totally pausing" at the stop sign on Meredith, I look to my left to be sure there is no oncoming traffic before I proceed into traffic, like Iowa law states I must do, and see none other than my uncle Steve. Crack Uncle Steve...lay off!

On a happier note, ok I take that back, no happy note. Just thoughs of Z's in my head. 5:30 is early for my delicate self to wake up in the morning. It is like the literal "butt-crack" of dawn. Why you may ask? Because, it is after all the "crack" of dawn as the sun is just peaking over the houses and the obnoxious birds are starting their morning song. And, I feel like SHIT! And we all know where shit comes from. Well, I am not sure where Neuman's comes from as he has a ginormous amount of crap for such a little cat. And he smells so bad! Just when you think he isn't going to kick your ass rather curl up with you while you watch TV, he gives you the wrong end in your face and you can't breathe! Needless to say, there is no cute cuddling going on with the cat because he smells like your butt. Or his, whatever!

On a more intelligent note, or as intelligent as I get on five hours of sleep, 13 hours of work, and a summer thinking habit, I have finally finished Asher Lev. Wow, what a good book. I'm only sorry it took me two year to read it. I am sure that I didn't get the complete message as I was forced to start and stop with it over the last year or so. Stupid school! But, for those of you who haven't read it, YOU SHOULD. Or you can go on living the rest of your life wondering what you are missing. And because I am sure some of my readers haven't read it, I must censor my thoughts so as not to give away the ending. However dot dot dot I must say that I was outraged that there was Asher Lev, a boy who grew to a man and knew what he wanted to do with his life(THAT I am envious of), who was punished for doing something that he loved. As I read the descriptions of the crucifixions(sp?) I could see all the anger and pain he was portraying. And to think, he was ostracized(sp again?) for telling the truth. For making people see the facts and even though it may not have been what his parents wanted to see, it was something they needed to see.

It was like that one guys theory of the sublime and the beautiful. To Asher's parents, the painting was sublime, harsh, ugly, and something they didn't like. But, they feared it. They feared it because it inspired awe and they knew that as harsh as it was, it was the truth. To others, it was aesthetic. It was a beautifully painted portrayal of one womans hours spent waiting for her husband and son. It was a display of a life wasted waiting by a window, like she was chained to it. And if you read the book you know that her life wasn't a waste, that she did have a very useful life, but, she did spend a lot of time concerned about her boys and their whereabouts. It is whatever you think, to me it was a great book with a great message.

Currently, I am in the middle of Me Talk Pretty One Day, by David Sedaris. While it doesn't have quite the same effect of Asher, it is a good book. I love it to the point of wanting to read the rest of his books. And I am sure I will have the chance to do so as I have all the time in the world to read now at the golf course. His sarcasm is just so funny. I think one of my favorite stories right now is "I Pledge Allegiance to the Bag." Ha! Anyway, I have become Tony's little prodigy. If only he would blog again so I would have to assume complete responsibilities of entertaining the readers we share. But, I do enjoy that he can use his knowledge of the english language to offer me sage advice on my selection of reading and in the emergency of needing technical help with papers and essays. Anyway....

If you can't tell by my change in writing style, the upper portion of this blog was written last night when I was in my sarcastic mood. It is a lot funnier, at least I hope someone will laugh, than what I am writng now. It probably would have been better last night, but I got busy talking to people and working on my other website. I'm just not in the same mood now. Probably because I haven't been awake for that long and I haven't been in contact with anyone else with the exception of my sister and she doesn't really provide me with much comic relief. So, now that I am done ranting, with no further ado, ducks are stupid because....

They smoke a lot of quack!

Ah yes, and I must give all credit for that joke to Butter. She is the one who told it to me first. I have more but those shall wait for future blogs. I'm sure there will be one next week following the Fourth of July bash this weekend. Happy blogging....

Same day, different....you get the picture....

Well, I have decided it is time for me to write a "happy" blog. Meaning I will try my best not to talk about Ashley, Michael, or Sara unless it is in a positive way. I am however thinking that it will be hard to write about them in a positive way as I haven't spoken to Ashley or Michael in weeks....

So, it was an interesting day at the golf course today. I got a call from my boss, who is only 7 years older than me, this morning asking if I was available to work today. I had been planning on it so I said yes. Then he told me that they were short staffed in the club house so I would be in the building and not on the cart today. They told me Gary, one of the pros, had called in sick and Randy, the other pro, worked in the morning for Gary. Anyway, as the day went on Steve, the super, came in and said, "So you're going to be doing this a lot now, huh?" I responded with something to the effect of, "I don't think so, they just told me I was covering for Gary today." Steve then informed me that "Gary called in sick" translated to "Gary was canned." Yep, they fired him. I'm not really sure why, something about him never being there or being worthless or something. Anyway, now Matt, my boss, is scrambling around to find people to cover Gary's former 40 hours. I have his Monday shifts which means I will be in the clubhouse from 1:00 til roughly 9:00.

Anywho, other than that, there isn't much going on in my life. People at HyVee are driving me NUTS! Customers and other employees. I went to Targhetto the other night because I had nothing else to do, and bought a new CD. I played golf with Craig the other day and he played it for me. If there is one thing I listen to him about it is music. I remember the first time he gave me something to listen to. I had been at choreography rehersals all morning and then I had to go out to the range to re-seed the tees in the afternoon. That was a pain in my ginormous rear-end. It was so hot and a bunch of labor. After we had that task completed, I was to come back and work at night. So I remember going home, showering, picking up Sonic for Craig and I, and then returning to work. I had to pick and I also had the biggest headache in the world. I knew I wouldn't make it if I had to listen to the obnoxious picker. So I asked Craig to borrow his CD player and to put something mellow in it. And there it began, my love of John Mayer. Craig had allowed me to listen to John Mayer's first CD entitled, Room for Squares. And I have been hooked ever since.

So the other day on the way home when he asked if I had heard the new Jack Johnson, and I said no because I had no idea who it was, he played it for me. It was good, pretty mellow and just good driving music or something to listen to when you have a headache or just want to sing. So, on Saturday when I was grumpy I went to the Targhetto and bought the CD. I would give it "two very enthusiastic thumbs up, fine holiday fun." So, Jack Johnson for all of you out there in need of a new CD. If you are unsure go to CDNow.com and searh Jack Johnson, then find the CD and listen to some of the clips. It is the new CD, it is yellow and one of the songs is called "Banana Pancakes."

The point I was trying to make is that I buy music when I am pissed off or upset or sad or whatever other emoition I have that isn't content. I guess it could be worse, I could go off and binge drink, or buy expensive shoes and purses, but nope, I buy music. Usually something I have heard on the radio or TV, or something a friend has told me about. I need to get the Killers CD burned for me. And someone also told me I needed to listen to Guster. Ryan told me that since I listened to Trapt I should listen to System of a Down. It is a good thing I checked that out on CDNow because I only knew one song and I didn't really like most of the others. I think I will refrain from getting music advice from him.

Other than my new CD, and a semi-new job at the golf course, I don't think anything has changed for me. I made 65 dollars in tips the other day at the course though. It was the Waukee City Chamber of Commerce tourney. I think I may have already explained this though. It was a good time. Hopefully on Wednesday I will make some more money. No tourney but hopefully it will be a nice day and lots of people will want to play golf. Well, until we meet again....

Is Tony alive, I have posted three times in the last month and what has Tony got to show for it, NOTHING. I am getting tired of reading about Clearly Canadian and his bodily functions! Someone poke him, make sure he is still breathing....SOMETHING!

Ur Mom! ... it was what I was thinking!

Hidy ho! Another week another blog. I feel collegiate now that I have returned from Orientation up at Wartburg. Everytime I am there I love the campus. Of course for orientation they kept us in the nice, upperclassmen dorms equipped with A/C. Next year I wont be so lucky. Anywho, a two day spree of meet and greet wore me out! So I am now sitting down to tell you of my dry trip to Waverly.

Sunday started out like anyother morning minus the fact that I got up at 8:00 and took a shower as opposed to getting up at 7:30 and going to work. Mom and I packed and got ready and then we were off. And being that they just put in a new Starbucks up the street, a carmel latte was in order. Made with skim milk of course. Since I have become somewhat of a connoisseur of expensive coffee drinks, I have also found that it is healthier for me to order my drinks made with skim milk. However, sometimes I get the drink made with skim milk and still put whipped cream on top. You might be thinking that adding the whip to a skinny drink pretty much cancels the skinny part, I think of it as it is better for me to get the skinny drink with whip rather than get the fat drink with whip. Therefore, it is just like getting the fat drink when I get skinny with whip. That doesn't make much sense, but I understand.

Upon arriving at Wartburg we signed in and got my room assignment for the weekend. No, I still don't know who I will be living with next year. I wont know that til mid-July, early August. URGH! Then they sat us in the Lyceum, which looked like an auditorium to me Bob, but at college they use the big words. For those interested the proper definition of a Lyceum is, "A hall in which public lectures, concerts, and similar programs are presented." Like I said, it was an auditorium. In the words of Mrs. White the crazy choir director, it was an "aud." So, boring presentations, a lesson on security in which I learned that college kids get locked out of their dorm rooms quite frequently. The guy said they unlocked close to 900 or so doors last year. The lyceum was roaring with laughter after that statistic. Speaking of statistics, I have to take stat in the winter term next year! I hate math, but taking calc last fall got me out of having to take it this fall and it is a required class for a business major. So yay! My english class didn't get me out of freshman english tho so I have to take that this fall. Owell, hopefully it will be like the class I already took.

I'm sort of sick of summer already. I've been pretty alone despite having long heart-to-hearts with Michael and Ashley. They still pretty much avoid me. I don't know why, and I don't understand, and maybe if I did, it wouldn't hurt as much. Somehow I don't think I will ever know. I don't think Ashley reads this anymore, maybe if she did she would understand how I feel. I've sort of been censoring the blog because of the fact that she reads it. Owell, Saturday I had some people over to bar-b-que while the parents were at a party of their own. I invited a bunch of people, I didn't really care who was there but I wasn't going to invite everyone. I didn't call Michael. I figured he would hear it through the grape-vine and show up anyway so it didn't matter. I don't owe him a personal invite. He hasn't done anything for me in the last two months. Anyway, I called Ashley and get nothing. She called me back while I was in the shower and her message said that she really wanted to do something with me that night. I called her back and told her the plan, she didn't get off work til 9:00 so she would be late. Fine, whatever.

Upon arrival here, she talked a little and then her and Michael and Mitch and Annie were outside together. I said something to Steven about the couples being on the deck and he said he was going to go break it up. Well, Mitch and Annie came in and Michael and Ashley proceeded to stay outside and chat while the rest of us played inside. She said all of 10 words to me that night.... So much for wanting to hang out with me I guess. Then I called her on Monday to find out what was up with her and to tell her about my orientation. We talked a little for about 20 minutes and then she hung up with me because she needed to find out what her cat was doing on the stairs. To me that seems like a pretty weak way to say you don't want to talk to someone anymore. People ask me what she is doing or what she is up to or anything else about her and I tell them to ask Michael. He seems to be the only one she talks to now so I really don't know what is going on. I should call him to find out what is going on with her...

Currently I am talking with Sara over AIM. Yes, I have resorted to AOL Instant Messaging because I have no life and it is the only form of entertainment to me. She asked me if I was still mad at her. Steffi told her about my little party and she asked why she wasn't invited. I told her, and it was truly legit, but then there was the part of me that didn't really want to see her that night. I knew if Michael was there she would be all over him. And with Ashley there, there just would be too much for me to handle. She went to Indianola that night to jump Brandon anyway so I guess no big deal. It was mostly choir kids anyway and she doesn't really hang out with them. Besides Michael now I guess.

I had called Steffi because I was flipping through the contact list in my phone and an impulse just told me to call her. I haven't talked to her in a while and we haven't hung out in forever so I just called her. I called Erin and Alicia too and I guess I could have called Sara but it just wasn't right. I know that by not inviting her I did a bad thing. My mom told me to call her. I just didn't want to. She is my friend, even though I don't agree with what she does, but it feels wrong to be with her. It feels like she put herself in the middle of Michael and Ashley and she is the reason neither of them can talk to me now. She told Ashley was had happened and that made it hard for Ashley, my best friend, to look me in the face. So I guess I want to blame her for what happened even though all three took part in the way I was treated. And I do blame all three for the roles they played in what happened, but she seems to be the cause of it all. I don't know. I have been avoiding all three of them, and they have been avoiding me. It is going to be a long summer.... I just hope things will change soon, for all of us!

For now, you can find me at the golf course Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday afternoons and at HyVee the other days. And this fall I have class on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, so call me on Tuesday and Thursday! Until we meet again.....

Gradjitation, in the words of Aunt Stacy

Well, first I must add that I just changed my toothbrush today and my teeth are super clean and shiny! It makes my mouth feel good! And now I must move on to the more important stuff.

I finally did it. I graduated from high school. It was strange not being in school this last week and a half knowing that the other students were still suffering through the torture they call learning. It was all pretty surreal, nothing seemed to fit until last Friday when we were all in our caps and gowns for class day. That is when it hit me that I would never again sit in the JHS gym as a JHS student. Scary! I made it through the holiday weekend and then I finally made it offical by walking across the stage to receive my fake diploma on Tuesday night. They give you fake one until you turn in your gown, and in my case collar because I was a girl. They make such a big deal about those stupid robes. They have to be at least 10 years old! Anywho...Generally you would think that Graduation is a time of happiness and a time to spend with all your friends. As most of my readers know, graduation was anything but. It is really a long story that deals with very personal matters so I wont divuldge(is there a 'd'?) the entire story here. Let's just say it involved my best friend, my ex-boyfriend, and another friend. Imagine what you want but only a few people know the whole story, and I'm pretty sure I'm not one of them. Anyway, life pretty much sucked and it was all I could do to smile on Tuesday. Later that night I went to Bennigans with a few friends and then Ashley called me. She said that she was heading over to Colby's where there was a bonfire and a sleep-out. I was pretty confused so I called her back when I left the restaurant.

I arrived a Colby's and figured out that it was a group of seniors and they were going to have the bonfire at Colby's, he's a junior which is why I was confused because there was still school the next day, because he had a fire pit, and then we could sleep there if we wanted. They had two tents and some food so I decided to go home and get my stuff to return. It was pretty shaky because the ex and the best friend were there, together, and I had just had two very long discussions/arguments with both of them the night prior lasting til 3 AM. It took everything I had to go back.

As I was returning my friend Steven, whose party it truly was, was walking up to his house a few houses down to get some lighter fluid for the fire. Luckily Eittreim had called and asked me to bring some so he turned around and walked back with me. I asked him if it was ok if I was there because I hadn't techniquely been invited, rather just invited through Ashley, and he told me definitely. I gave him a brief background as to what was going on and why it was weird and he told me that it didn't matter if anyone else cared if I was there because he did. That was the nicest thing anyone had said to me, besides family, in a week so I felt much better about being there. To make a long story short we messed around and talked by the fire until about 4 when everyone who wasn't already in a tent decided to go up to them. It was pretty coupled off by the time I get to the tents so shortly after crawling into a 4-person tent that already had 6 people in it, I got out and Steven and I set up camp on the ground outside. A little background on Steven: I sat next to Steven in AP Calc last semester and we became pretty good friends. I hadn't talked to him in quite awhile so it was nice. We ended up talking til close to 7 AM. I'm not really sure as it was too buggy to check the phones for time so we pretty much suffocated ourselves under our sweatshirts and sleeping bags.

We talked all night about the most random things. Of course the occurances of the previous week, and he gave me his 2 cents, girls, boys, school, life after school, and by far the most interesting, the difficulty of peeing in the woods, at least the difficulty for chicks. He just didn't seem to grasp the fact that girls don't have the great ability to aim their stream. Nick had left to get coffee early that morning so we discussed turning the cup into a funnel and all sorts of strange things. I can't really talk about everything we discussed that night because some things just aren't meant to be shared. Let's just say we didn't really run out of things to talk about.

So Wednesday morning, after I had gotten maybe an hour of sleep, I awoke to everyone else leaving our "camp." I laid back down but in five minutes I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep. The bugs were so bad and I was so hot that I just gave up on sleep. I woke Steven and we set out to clean up. We had made a ginormous mess. Yes, ginormous is a word! I went home feeling so much better about the goings on and just happier to be myself. I finally had someone to talk to that wasn't Dana or my mom. And it isn't that I don't appreciate all that they do for me and how much they are willing to listen and help, but I needed to talk to someone who is close to the action all the time and understands the people involved like I do. I passed out on the couch for about two hours and then I went to work at the golf course.



This is Steven and I after graduation at the Knapp Center at Drake.


First of all, this job is going to kick ass! I get paid 8 dollars an hour, PLUS tips, to drive a golf cart all day. I get to be in the sun, I get to talk to all sorts of people, and I get to be close to a game I love. And I am pretty sure no one can top a first day of work story like I can. So a girl that did this job a few years back came out to train me. We drove around together til about 5:30 when she had to go. Then it was me all alone. I drove around and I sold over-priced beer, and a pop, to the golfers. I was starting the cart after a sell and realized that it wasn't going like it had been. It was making that putt-putt sound and I wasn't moving very fast at all. I kept going and ended up getting stuck on a bridge that had a sligh incline. Being as it was the only way around and there were groups behind me, I tried to keep going up, it didn't work, so then I put it in reverse and used the sligh hill to my advantage to get the cart off the bridge and out of the way. Luckily I had grabbed my cell to keep track of time but I didn't have to number to the clubhouse and no radio. I had to 411 the number and ask them to come get me. They brought out a truck and towed me in. What it came down to was the cart needed gas and the gas-gage doesn't work very well. Yeah, it was an exciting day. But, I just kept thinking of the night before and all the funny things that occured and I was all good.

Well, I guess this is good-bye. I'm not going to quite writing, but I am going to say good-bye to high school, the drama, and the stupid crap that comes with it. I desperately hope with all my heart I never have to go through that crap again. It is sad to say but I know there are people I have spent multiple years with, whom I will never again see or speak to. It saddens me to think I am leaving a class of people who have meant so much and so little to me all in just four short years. However, I am very excited for the future and am ready to embrace all the in has in store for me. Good-bye JHS class of 2005, see you in 10 years if our crap-ass student body president ever gets around to organizing a reunion. Hello future.....