Ducks, Sarcasm, and Asher

OK....so I must start out this blog with what can only be described as a comical joke. So here goes....are you ready....

Why are ducks so Stupid...?

To get answer you must read to end of blog! And I mean read not skim, or glance, READ! It's not like it will kill you! Maybe you will be enlightened....or not....

So, as it turns out, a lot of people run/walk at wee hours of the morning. I have been working the early shift, and when I say early I mean 6:00 AM PEOPLE!, at work and on my approx. One mile drive that takes five minutes, I have noticed a cornucopia, if you will, of people doing what appears to be something healthy. Now, I am not dissing the health nuts, well not all of them, of this great country, but good lord! 6:00 AM is sleepin' hours, not wakin' hours! Are these people on CRACK! And to top it all off, as I am "totally pausing" at the stop sign on Meredith, I look to my left to be sure there is no oncoming traffic before I proceed into traffic, like Iowa law states I must do, and see none other than my uncle Steve. Crack Uncle Steve...lay off!

On a happier note, ok I take that back, no happy note. Just thoughs of Z's in my head. 5:30 is early for my delicate self to wake up in the morning. It is like the literal "butt-crack" of dawn. Why you may ask? Because, it is after all the "crack" of dawn as the sun is just peaking over the houses and the obnoxious birds are starting their morning song. And, I feel like SHIT! And we all know where shit comes from. Well, I am not sure where Neuman's comes from as he has a ginormous amount of crap for such a little cat. And he smells so bad! Just when you think he isn't going to kick your ass rather curl up with you while you watch TV, he gives you the wrong end in your face and you can't breathe! Needless to say, there is no cute cuddling going on with the cat because he smells like your butt. Or his, whatever!

On a more intelligent note, or as intelligent as I get on five hours of sleep, 13 hours of work, and a summer thinking habit, I have finally finished Asher Lev. Wow, what a good book. I'm only sorry it took me two year to read it. I am sure that I didn't get the complete message as I was forced to start and stop with it over the last year or so. Stupid school! But, for those of you who haven't read it, YOU SHOULD. Or you can go on living the rest of your life wondering what you are missing. And because I am sure some of my readers haven't read it, I must censor my thoughts so as not to give away the ending. However dot dot dot I must say that I was outraged that there was Asher Lev, a boy who grew to a man and knew what he wanted to do with his life(THAT I am envious of), who was punished for doing something that he loved. As I read the descriptions of the crucifixions(sp?) I could see all the anger and pain he was portraying. And to think, he was ostracized(sp again?) for telling the truth. For making people see the facts and even though it may not have been what his parents wanted to see, it was something they needed to see.

It was like that one guys theory of the sublime and the beautiful. To Asher's parents, the painting was sublime, harsh, ugly, and something they didn't like. But, they feared it. They feared it because it inspired awe and they knew that as harsh as it was, it was the truth. To others, it was aesthetic. It was a beautifully painted portrayal of one womans hours spent waiting for her husband and son. It was a display of a life wasted waiting by a window, like she was chained to it. And if you read the book you know that her life wasn't a waste, that she did have a very useful life, but, she did spend a lot of time concerned about her boys and their whereabouts. It is whatever you think, to me it was a great book with a great message.

Currently, I am in the middle of Me Talk Pretty One Day, by David Sedaris. While it doesn't have quite the same effect of Asher, it is a good book. I love it to the point of wanting to read the rest of his books. And I am sure I will have the chance to do so as I have all the time in the world to read now at the golf course. His sarcasm is just so funny. I think one of my favorite stories right now is "I Pledge Allegiance to the Bag." Ha! Anyway, I have become Tony's little prodigy. If only he would blog again so I would have to assume complete responsibilities of entertaining the readers we share. But, I do enjoy that he can use his knowledge of the english language to offer me sage advice on my selection of reading and in the emergency of needing technical help with papers and essays. Anyway....

If you can't tell by my change in writing style, the upper portion of this blog was written last night when I was in my sarcastic mood. It is a lot funnier, at least I hope someone will laugh, than what I am writng now. It probably would have been better last night, but I got busy talking to people and working on my other website. I'm just not in the same mood now. Probably because I haven't been awake for that long and I haven't been in contact with anyone else with the exception of my sister and she doesn't really provide me with much comic relief. So, now that I am done ranting, with no further ado, ducks are stupid because....

They smoke a lot of quack!

Ah yes, and I must give all credit for that joke to Butter. She is the one who told it to me first. I have more but those shall wait for future blogs. I'm sure there will be one next week following the Fourth of July bash this weekend. Happy blogging....