Dancing Through Life

The dress for all of you readers out there who didn't see it on birthday bash weekend. I sure hope this works!

BRING IT! I totally just figured out how to put a picture on this thing. Took my long enough. I was getting tired of admiring T3's pics and decided it was about time I figured out how to do it myself. Still not quite sure I got everything down but I will work on it. Anyhow, there it is, the glorious prom dress. Promelation has almost commenced as prom is NEXT WEEKEND! It seems like just yesterday I was telling myself it was silly to be out looking for a dress when prom was over two months away. Two months later....and here we are.

More important than prom, I have finally decided where I am going to school next year. After much consideration and talking with everyone from the units, the B's, assorted cousins and future cousin-in-law, various friends, family members, and people whom I respect, I decided, with no further ado, that I will be attending Wartburg in the fall. It just seemed right. I couldn't bear the thought of me lost in the thousands attending Minnesota. When it came down to it, Wartburg was where I felt the most comfortable, it was where the people seemed friendlier, the campus felt cozier, and I ultimately just liked it better.

Since I made my decision, a little less that two weeks ago, I have felt so much better. It was like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders and I am free to live my life again. Now, there is no turning back. I have signed my financial award letter, which was all of NOTHING!, and have registered for SOAR day, my day of registration and orientation. And listening to T3's advice, I opted for the two day orientation and to stay on campus as opposed to wussing out and only going for a day. I figure, the man has made a pretty nice life for himself and has thus far never lead me in the wrong direction, why not listen to what he has to say now...?

Anyway, although it may appear from the outside that I am not excited, I truly am. I finally made the decision that has been plaguing me for months. It is just that it is after all my last 20-some days of high school. Since spring break the weeks have flown by. I guess it was only 3 weeks ago but it seems like centuries ago. School it going fine, my grades were decent last quarter but recently my AP English class has been bogging me down. I conversed with my teacher, one whom I really admire and appreciate, about what it was that I was doing wrong. I told her that I was trying so hard and that nothing seemed to change. I worked my butt off last quarter in AP Spanish and I received a lower grade than I did the previous 2 quarters when I did nothing at all. My AP English grade is fine, a B, nothing more and nothing less. It never seems to fail that no matter how hard or how little I try, I always get a B. Sara, I got a B on the Flannery O'Connor paper I wrote. Just a prime example of a paper that I worked so hard on and received the same grade I did on a paper I put little effort in to. Ms. Wessling said, "maybe it isn't an issue of trying harder, but trying differently." I replied, "I have been doing the same thing for the last 3 years and it has been working pretty well for me until this year." she said, "doesn't that just prove my point." Whatever....

Right now that is what is scaring me the most. My usual work habits worked well for me the first three years of HS and now, my senior year, when I am taking AP, college level classes, I'm not doing as well as I would have liked. It isn't that I told myself I would get an A in any of the APs I have taken this year, but I expected to get an A on at least a few papers or tests. I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that I am no longer an A-student, rather a mediocre B-student. The rubrics I get back say that my ideas are too literal, that I need to look further into the figurative meaning of a work. That my topic sentences need to relate to my thesis and I need to create a strong opening that in the end pulls together a strong close. I never thought it would be so hard to write a topic sentence but believe me, I SUCK at it! And I have this problem where the end of my papers kick ass yet the beginning generally blows. Maybe I should take summer school from Sara and Tony, they seem to know what they are doing.

Speaking of trying and not receiving, it seems like the only scholarships I have received are the ones I don't apply for. The ones the school gives me because of my 'outstanding' transcript or the ones the state gives me for the same reason. Anything that I apply to, I don't get. I guess it is because I'm not needy enough, shows what they know. So I have basically given up on the whole thing because thus far, the effort put out by me has been returned with a "Dear Alyssa, we are sorry to inform you that the 'fill in the Blank' scholarship you applied for has gone to 'fill in the blank.' Thanks for your time, signed 'fill in the blank.'" You get the basic picture. They should really stop sending that crap, just tell me I'm not what you are looking for and send me on my way. I don't need your pitty, I need your cash!

With that said, I believe it is time for me to sign off. Thanks for listening to me rant, like Dana said, Tony's is the only blog worth reading, his has all the good stuff in it, mine is just my way of telling the world I'm pissed off. Have a wonderful day!

Word of the Day:

ENGLISH
Ameliorate: to make or become better; improve

SPANISH
Lazo: ribbon