Promelation

The Prom hair. It doesn't look like much but I liked it!

Alright, the jig is up the news is out, promelation has finally commenced. I can't even tell you how much fun I had. I also describe to you the fun I am having typing with the nails I had put on to make my crappy hands look somewhat decent. I was a little disappointed in how my nails turned out, but, it was my senior prom, I had to go all out. But anyway, above is the hair. Dinner was good, we ate at Centro downtown, and the dance was good. They only played a few crappy songs and the dance floor wasn't very big but it was nice. I also have a few new songs to download including, "She think's my tractors sexy," "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy," and "Redneck Woman." Oh my we had so much fun rocking out to these songs. I forgot to mention that Ashley drove her parent's Tahoe and we had so much fun "pimpin'" the Tahoe all the way to the prom. It was a good time. I don't remember a whole lot as I was awake for 24 hours straight, but I can tell you I got the best sleep of my life on Sunday morning. Everyone looked soo good, you can all see more pictures at the graduation party (MAY 29th)!


I think this is the first time in years that we have taken a good picture together. Check out her shirt, that was from my one year in select/honor choir in the 5th grade.

This is one of the best pictures of us. We weren't even trying and it looks as if we truly like each other. Don't get me wrong, ever since she hit high school, she has been a lot of fun to hang out with when she isn't threatening to beat me up or verbally abusing me. We have had some good times over the last two years, just hanging out or talking about things the units don't necessarily need to know.


The best friend. I think we had the best matching dresses out of the rest of the prom-goers.

This is the infamous Ashley. Her new nickname is "Karen." The Midget Bake decided she was much like Karen Walker, from the show Will and Grace. As Karen is quite the pill popper and alcoholic, we decided that Ashley portrays some of her more positive attributes such as her wit and ability to do crazy things all the time.


Michael and I.

This is one of the better pictures of Michael and I. The only hard thing to do is write about the fact that we broke up on Monday after Prom. We had been having some rough patches and things just weren't getting better. We were more of a chore to each other than an enjoyment. It wasn't that we didn't enjoy each other's company, it was that our company was more "friendly" than "relationshipy." Anyway, I wasn't very happy anymore and he wanted things of me that couldn't be done unless I changed who I was and he knew that wasn't going to happen. So on Monday after Inno practice, he pulled into my driveway, said we needed to talk, and proceeded to tell me that he thought we should go back the being "just friends."

About three weeks prior to the breaking-up conversation we had gotten into an argument about what was going on in the relationship and where we felt it was going. Out of that discussion came us both agreeing that when we left for school, it was over. Michael wanted to hang on to the relationship through the summer and I thought it was ridiculous to prolong something that was inevitable. We both knew how we felt and I knew that he felt a lot more for me than I did for him and I told him that our friendship was more important to me than him being my boyfriend. It was the game of "what if." I was scared to hold our relationship over the summer because I feared something happening that would harm our friendship and we would go to college hating each other. He told me the only way he could ever hate me was if I hit him with a closed fist in the head. (long story...) Even so, I knew there was a possibility that even if we didn't hate each other when we left, we could still be mad or upset. I also knew the longer we drew it out the harder it would be to say good-bye. I didn't want to go to college depressed about him, I know that I will be depressed and stressed about plenty without adding that to the stack next year.

Anyway...I walked in my house, sat on the couch and cried. I called Ashley to tell her so I didn't have to tell her in the morning, plus that is just one of those things you tell your best friend right away. Yesterday was quiz bowl so I wasn't at school to see him. Today was a little strange, we talked to each other like nothing was really wrong, but I know it will be difficult at first. I know that ending it now was the right thing to do. It was just hard at the moment to think of losing the last seven months. I know that our relationship wasn't a waste of time. We had a lot of fun together and I think now our friendship is even stronger because of it. We will both just have to get used to the single life and being good friends instead of together. It will take time, but hopefully we can still have a great summer together.

On a more happier note, Dan finally asked Ashley out. It was all exciting and everything and she is happy. She also got her first kiss so it was even better. Finally after 18 years of waiting, her goofy Dan Kurns finally expired her membership in the "never been kissed" club. And furthermore, might I add that I currently am looking at less than 20 days of high school left! I am excited and ready to get out, but I know that the end of the year show, graduation, and after my party I will be a mess. In choir we are singing a song entitled "For Good," from the musical WICKED, a pre-quel to the WIZARD OF OZ. The main lyrics are:

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

As I look back at all of my friends, all of them have helped change me. It wasn't that they actually changed me, but the relationships I had with them helped me to grow and become the person I am today. The person I think of most who had a major impact on my life in middle school and the beginning of high school was Becca. She was the one who made me believe the cup was half full instead of half empty. She was the one who told me to believe in myself when I had little faith. And she was the one who I know will always know me better than I sometimes know myself.

Erin of course had a large part in the way I grew up. I have been growing up with her since the Kindergarten. Almost 13 years now I have known her. Not many people can say they have known someone from the time they were in kindergarten to the time they were a senior in high school. I always remember the stage when Erin would beat me up whenever she was mad. It wasn't that she kicked my butt, but I remember the bruises. I also remember the time she made me laugh so hard grape juice shot out of my nose. She was the one who was always there for me as a kid. I regret now not being as close to her as I am with other people. But she will forever be my first best friend.

Ashley changed my life when I was first introduced to her in the 7th grade. She was Sara's friend and the two of them just happened to need two roomies for the DC trip. Steffi and I were all about it and that is where it all started. We weren't good friends until freshman year but we always had an acquaintance. We almost always agree and she is the person I can talk to about anything. We can talk about things that other's can't and we can have civil discussions about pertinant matters. That and she generally doesn't take any crap so we get a long pretty well.

Beans, she is the friend I go to when I am having troubles with boys. We always talk about boys and boy problems with each other. We are like counselors. Plus I still remember when she used to stay at my house at least once a summer for about 3 years. We would go on walks all the time, hang out at the park, sit in her room and listen to music. To think it all started with Miss Laden and the "Magic School Bus," AKA Mrs. Weltha.

There are so many people that have added to my life that it is hard to write about all of them here. Perhaps if I am feeling bored I will write some more. But for now...that is the end of my friend story. I shall go now, I have been on here way too long. Happy blogging....

Dancing Through Life

The dress for all of you readers out there who didn't see it on birthday bash weekend. I sure hope this works!

BRING IT! I totally just figured out how to put a picture on this thing. Took my long enough. I was getting tired of admiring T3's pics and decided it was about time I figured out how to do it myself. Still not quite sure I got everything down but I will work on it. Anyhow, there it is, the glorious prom dress. Promelation has almost commenced as prom is NEXT WEEKEND! It seems like just yesterday I was telling myself it was silly to be out looking for a dress when prom was over two months away. Two months later....and here we are.

More important than prom, I have finally decided where I am going to school next year. After much consideration and talking with everyone from the units, the B's, assorted cousins and future cousin-in-law, various friends, family members, and people whom I respect, I decided, with no further ado, that I will be attending Wartburg in the fall. It just seemed right. I couldn't bear the thought of me lost in the thousands attending Minnesota. When it came down to it, Wartburg was where I felt the most comfortable, it was where the people seemed friendlier, the campus felt cozier, and I ultimately just liked it better.

Since I made my decision, a little less that two weeks ago, I have felt so much better. It was like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders and I am free to live my life again. Now, there is no turning back. I have signed my financial award letter, which was all of NOTHING!, and have registered for SOAR day, my day of registration and orientation. And listening to T3's advice, I opted for the two day orientation and to stay on campus as opposed to wussing out and only going for a day. I figure, the man has made a pretty nice life for himself and has thus far never lead me in the wrong direction, why not listen to what he has to say now...?

Anyway, although it may appear from the outside that I am not excited, I truly am. I finally made the decision that has been plaguing me for months. It is just that it is after all my last 20-some days of high school. Since spring break the weeks have flown by. I guess it was only 3 weeks ago but it seems like centuries ago. School it going fine, my grades were decent last quarter but recently my AP English class has been bogging me down. I conversed with my teacher, one whom I really admire and appreciate, about what it was that I was doing wrong. I told her that I was trying so hard and that nothing seemed to change. I worked my butt off last quarter in AP Spanish and I received a lower grade than I did the previous 2 quarters when I did nothing at all. My AP English grade is fine, a B, nothing more and nothing less. It never seems to fail that no matter how hard or how little I try, I always get a B. Sara, I got a B on the Flannery O'Connor paper I wrote. Just a prime example of a paper that I worked so hard on and received the same grade I did on a paper I put little effort in to. Ms. Wessling said, "maybe it isn't an issue of trying harder, but trying differently." I replied, "I have been doing the same thing for the last 3 years and it has been working pretty well for me until this year." she said, "doesn't that just prove my point." Whatever....

Right now that is what is scaring me the most. My usual work habits worked well for me the first three years of HS and now, my senior year, when I am taking AP, college level classes, I'm not doing as well as I would have liked. It isn't that I told myself I would get an A in any of the APs I have taken this year, but I expected to get an A on at least a few papers or tests. I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that I am no longer an A-student, rather a mediocre B-student. The rubrics I get back say that my ideas are too literal, that I need to look further into the figurative meaning of a work. That my topic sentences need to relate to my thesis and I need to create a strong opening that in the end pulls together a strong close. I never thought it would be so hard to write a topic sentence but believe me, I SUCK at it! And I have this problem where the end of my papers kick ass yet the beginning generally blows. Maybe I should take summer school from Sara and Tony, they seem to know what they are doing.

Speaking of trying and not receiving, it seems like the only scholarships I have received are the ones I don't apply for. The ones the school gives me because of my 'outstanding' transcript or the ones the state gives me for the same reason. Anything that I apply to, I don't get. I guess it is because I'm not needy enough, shows what they know. So I have basically given up on the whole thing because thus far, the effort put out by me has been returned with a "Dear Alyssa, we are sorry to inform you that the 'fill in the Blank' scholarship you applied for has gone to 'fill in the blank.' Thanks for your time, signed 'fill in the blank.'" You get the basic picture. They should really stop sending that crap, just tell me I'm not what you are looking for and send me on my way. I don't need your pitty, I need your cash!

With that said, I believe it is time for me to sign off. Thanks for listening to me rant, like Dana said, Tony's is the only blog worth reading, his has all the good stuff in it, mine is just my way of telling the world I'm pissed off. Have a wonderful day!

Word of the Day:

ENGLISH
Ameliorate: to make or become better; improve

SPANISH
Lazo: ribbon