The End of An Era

As I sit down to write here, I realize that I have been thinking about a lot more than my sports life and haven't really been saying anything about it. This being the last day of summer before my final year of high school, I realized that my approach to things is going to be a tad different this year. For starters, I really don't care about the unimportant things in my life right now. These things being cleaning my car or my room, which I did last night and it did make me feel better to know I wasn't living like a pig anymore, or things like fighting with my friends. This summer I have become semi-aware of who my true friends are. I have also come head to head with some people and their changing personalities. It is hard to write about this without offending people, but seeing as no one knows I do this, owell. I have started to realize that some of my friends aren't turning out to be the people I thought they would be 6 years ago. I guess it just goes with the saying, with time comes change. Who knew change could have sucked this much.

My summer has been decent. Not as much fun as last, but hey, I went to Spain this summer so nothing could top that. In summation, my summer has been spent driving around with the same people, to the same spots, and talking about the same things. And while this wasn't all that bad, it sucks to be thrown into volleyball practice where everyone is talking about all the fun things they did and all the people they hung out with this summer. Don't get me wrong, I love the people I hung out with, I just wish that my group of friends wasn't divided so much. Freshman year I had all the friends in the world. There was something going on almost every weekend and everyone had a good time. Sophomore year, the group had changed a little and so had other things. By now, the "relationships" that had started freshman year, were over. And because of this, certain people had formed allies and little chunks of the group had started to become their own group and didn't function well with other people. My junior year, these little chunks that had formed groups, had separated, broken up, changed and now, have formed different groups. And while we function together as a whole, we function better as a single.

Ordinarily, I would be rolling in friends, and I do have a lot of friends, but I am not as close to most of them. If anyone ever reads this, they will be pissed to know that the person that I considder my "all season" friend, is Ashley. She is there for me no matter the situation and I can always confide in her the things that I wouldn't dream of telling other people. I am also very good friends with a few other people, but no one knows half as much about me, as Ashley. A few years ago that name was Becca. She still knows a lot about me then, and she can still read me like a book. But, the same goes for me. Our friendship will forever be preserved in time. I will know her as a person now, but I will indefinitely remember the friendship and the person that she was then. I will also always have my childhood memories with Erin. I have know Erin since Kindergarten. Which, by the way, Kinder means "children" in German. Together, Erin and I have grown up. Sometimes apart, but we always seem to find eachother again. We aren't the great friends that we were when we were younger, but we are still friends.

This year I am going into my Senior year with a positive attitude. I am not going to deal with all the drama and bullshit this year. It isn't worth it to me anymore. When I leave for college next fall, I will know who I will and who I wont keep in touch with. That sounds a little harsh, but I am not going to let my final year of high school go to crap. I am going to have fun and enjoy what is left of my adolesence. Because hey, I am almost a legal adult and I am almost to the "real world."