Concerning my LIfe

So I gave in to Tony, author of Say Anything, and decided to create a blog so he would know it was me when I commented. He will probably be the only one who reads this, if even, and I wont post that often. My life is sort of busy. Right now, the only thing on my mind is sports. The two I am most focused on are basketball and volleyball. I recently "gave up" basketball. I didn't quit, at least that is what I tell myself. It was more of a self-realization thing for me. I have worked since the 6th grade to play varsity basketball. Whether or not I knew I wanted to play varsity in middle school is a different story. But as a freshmen in high school, I dreamed of one day being that person that people cheered for while I was on the floor. Not the person people yelled at the coach to be let in. My dreams were smashed this summer. I knew that I should have been at open gym every Sunday night, but I am a near college student and that shit is expensive. So I had a job to earn money. This job didn't allow me to be at Grady's beck and call, so I missed out on some "critical training." My parents paid for me to go to UNI for 2 days to play basketball at team camp. Before we left, Grady, the coach, told the team that if we thought it would be a waste of money because of lack of playing time, that he would understand and we could chose not to go. I never imagined that he was refering to me. Out of seven, forty minute games in those two days, I playeda combined total of maybe 15 minutes. So I asked to speak with the coach. We talked that Friday for an hour between games. He told me that he didn't think my window of opportunity for becoming a better athlete was very big. He also told me that I would play as much varsity basketball this year, as I had in the previous year. Which basically meant I was a defense bitch and "varsity" got to beat up on me. And sure I played a little. At the end of definite win or loss games. For example, Ankeny is the best team around, because of Niki Weiben, and last year we were losing 51 to 18. I went in for maybe a minute at the end of the game because the starters couldn't do anymore good, and I couldn't possibly screw anything up. If you have never been in the position, it is truly one of the most humiliating things I have ever done. It is a horrible feeling you get when you know everyone is looking at you like you are pathetic, they feel sorry for you because coach decided to give you a break. And at the same time, you are playing against the girls that are also feeling the same way because their coach felt sorry for them. To make a long story short, Mr. Gradoville was a good coach and a good teacher. I still respect him as a person even though he killed my dreams. So this winter, you can see me behind the bakery counter at your local Hy-Vee. And I look at the brightside of things, I could spend time with my friends my last year of high school, OR, I could be chained to the court and misserable for 5 months. I may miss it in November, but I will be a much happier person without it.